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I am the Monster

by Self Obscure

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1.
I spent my entire day running far away, from you and all the things ou put me through. I'm done with the noise and the way you drag me through the mud every time. So you sit around and curse this god foresaken state, wondering how you got to be so alone, drowning yourself in cigarette smoke. But I'm sorry you were the void, devouring me, untill I could not breathe, So I ran away, oh, I'm always running away. I'm hundreds of miles down this dark and lonely road. Trying to find myself along the Merrit Parkway. Waiting for this town to chew me up and spit me out, Leaving me to my knees, screamin' ohh, baby please, have mercy on me.
2.
I could have sworn i dreamt you last night. Lingering in the back of my mind. Racking my brain, creating false realities, to stable my feet. My idles are miserable, my ex's seem invincible, but I stand still. Waiting for the Big Sur to sallow me whole.Wash up and dry me out on a California coast. Another dream misconstrued into a false reality. But I could have sworn, I dreamt you last night. Lingering in the back of my mind.
3.
You over exaggerate your lonliness, with me right next to you. It killed me every step of the way, so I step right back. Try to breathe in anything I can and breathe out you. Concentrated chemical to rage through my veins, to try to forget. WIll it work this time? Will it be something from my mind? I should have that nightmares would never stay in my sleep, the deamons in my head will soon devour me. And I will become, I will become nothing, just the dust in the sun. Breathe in, Breathe out.
4.
Enlighten Me 01:47
This time I'm the one whos leaving you. Ohh, I'm leaving you. I'm done, I'm tired, I had enough of your words, words, words you made up all winter long. The spring has come, and swept me right of my feet, like you, like you never could do. So cry to your mother and tell her that you're sorry. Call all your friends back and tell them that you hate me. You leave messages, on my phone saying oh baby please, baby please, come back to me. But I'm so far gone. And this time I'm the one who got away. I made my clean escape from you, from you.
5.
Sweet misery 01:37
Do you still lie awake in the middle of the night, cursing the rain thats beating against your window payne leaving you awake, for hours on end. Confined by these white walls taking pride in all of your sweet, sweet misery. Cause I know I hate myself for letting it go this far, I broke your heart, and watched you fall apart. I watched you fall apart. So, go ahead and lay in your bed all day and blame me for everything. It's not my fault this time around. I dont feel bad, I dont feel anything.
6.
Minutes to hours, I am devoured. An untimely demise because you were never satisfied and I could never say goodbye to you with such sorry eyes. My tongue in cheek and we won't ever speak again, oh again. Oh my darling I Am the Monster hiding out on mountain peaks where you won't ever see. And oh my darling I Am the Monster stalking all your dreams waiting for you to finally see me. tonight. City lights blinded me, I felt myself sinking. amidst a sea of strangers surrounding me, I cling to my bags. I packed my toiletries, a change of clothes, my broken dreams I plan to mend right from the seams, again, oh again. Oh my darling I Am the Monster hiding out on mountain peaks where you won't ever see. And oh my darling I Am the Monster stalking all your dreams waiting for you to finally see me, so I can finally sleep tonight.
7.
Silly Girl 01:52
Silly girl what is it you were looking for in this town? Was it to find yourseld? or maybe just someone else, to lay beside you in the space that always laid alone. To tell you all those pretty things you die to hear, that make you feel at home. But silly girl these boys don't have what you're looking for. Cause its all a game of just push and pull. You will hit the floor every night as you fall into a drunken state. And these pills won't hide the misery thats knocking down your door. So quiet being so fucking silly girl, filling the space in your bed won't fill the hole in your heart. Closing your eyes won't make it all go away, you will end up alone, wishing you were back on home but you, let it all go.
8.
Oh, my love where did you go? We used to be so close now we drift apart on different seas, and I became the island. And I watched you drown from my shore line. I cant say that i felt bad about it. You're not my first and you're not my last, just another one down and inbetween, on the plains of all my wildest dreams. Now you're wracking your brain, you're making yourself sick. Falling to the floor in front of your parents. Its all a facade to get my attention but I'm done, I'm tired, and I'm not listening to you. I've been ignoring you for months on end. You show up to my house, completely unannounced, leaving letters for me to burn in my back yard. You should have walked away. You should have let it go. Now I'm gonna make the fool out you.

credits

released September 8, 2015

Recorded by Wade Culleny 2015 New Jersey.
www.soundcloud.com/mutetrack

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Self Obscure Piscataway Township, New Jersey

The begining of something. More to come...

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